“Grieves as children, grow better when they are cherished” (K. Holland)
“Blind men of despondency — the most pathetic biped” (Living ethics)
DEPRESSION AND PERCEPTION OF THE FUTURE
What interests all people, without exception, most of all? Probably, their future. For the sake of it they are ready to endow by own efforts, to spend time and money, to order horoscopes, to listen to voices of oracles and predictors, to read analytical forecasts. Interest in the future is so clear and explainable — it has to be better than the present with its problems. But what’s the use to throw out huge material and sincere resources for the sake of recognition of the ephemeral future if the curious customer all the same is not able correctly to dispose of it because he stays in a depression. She, a depression, is our main enemy and the destroyer. She forces consciousness to grow dull and not to see prospects. It will paralyze will and weakens a vitality. The person subject to a depression changes at the level of bio-energetics, his aura becomes dim, flabby, unprotected. The depressive personality by definition will not be able to use the hidden talents and, most likely, will earth them. Not for nothing the Christian tradition speaks about despondency as about one of the most grave mortal sins. The inner world of the sad depressive person is painted in the most gloomy of tone; it as if is not lit with the sun.
Tendency to a depression in many respects is caused by how people perceive time. First, the mechanism of developing of a depression is explained by the fact that the person considerably exaggerates the sizes of the troubles endured at present. Cases when people even committed suicide are known because they lacked patience to overcome weight of a nightmare and to wait for morning and rising, as in direct, and figuratively. Secondly, the depression is based on a habit to see the past, first of all, in gloomy tones, through a prism of offenses and irritation. The person inclined to depressions cannot long forget cases of the bad relation to himself, painfully endures sneers and defeats. It is oppressed by experience of last failures and when in the present there is a bad situation, his deep memory does emission of negative power which, like exhaust gases, negatively influences the atmosphere. And, of course, the person inclined “to depressirovat” both concerning the past, and in connection with the present will feel in most cases fear of the future. The depression can be defined as paralysis of will and negatively painted emotional background concerning the future. Not that it in itself always bad, but this person to whom there not the place is bad — here typical logic of the one who is subject to depressive waves.
Depression — a state infectious. Someone to one should fall into a deep depression as immediately others also begin to try to keep step with it. It is difficult to define what depression more initially — national-national or personal and individual. Today each of us periodically tests depressions because all country is filled with these experiences. If in America there was a Great Depression, then at us, probably, business goes to the Depression of the Greatest. On the other hand, the return process takes place also: of the sum of individual depressions there is a general depressive background so typical for our country. Therefore also an exit from a depression has to begin with itself, that is from certain people, then there will be more favorable background for changes from above. How to break off this vicious circle and to leave a depressive labyrinth in which we wander for many years?
Of course, you should not wait when the general installation and the feeling disturbing and suppressing us changes will pass by itself without any efforts. As the development of stagnation, a depression can be not only sharp, but also chronic. Any illness is won by purposeful effort. If to give in to a depression if to fall into spiritual hibernation and anabiosis if to approach it with the softened will, then it will expand and will become huge as a gray gloomy cloud. Then, to get rid of it, it will be required much more time, than at an early stage. Therefore it is better to struggle with a depression at the very beginning of its emergence and to win against it a germ.
CYCLIC CHARACTER OF THE DEPRESSION
The condition of a depression striking us cannot be absolutely steady. It can be assimilated to fall after which with absolute inevitability, let and not at once, but the condition of spring will come. This cyclic nature of developing of depressions with their subsequent disappearance, probably, was tested by almost each person. When cyclic change of depressive depression with a condition of joyfully excited activity happens most painfully, up to violations of mentality, then speak about maniac-depressive psychosis. The pleasure endured by the similar patient has nothing in common with healthy, steady pleasure of the harmonious person. The maniacal pleasure is the swing of a pendulum of mood in other party from a depressive pole reaching an extreme position and differing in inadequacy. But natural mood swings and activities are inherent in any, even to the healthiest person. In other words, there is no depression in pure form as identical steady-state condition, its fluctuations is some kind of form of existence. It to some extent predetermines strategy of disposal of it.
You remember Tolstoy’s phrase: all happy families are happy equally, and unhappy are unhappy in own way? In this statement the deep meaning, in our case meaning that at each depression a set of the tones and shades is concluded. They depend also on the reasons which generated it and on features of the person, and on that spiritual level at which it is. The strong, balanced person who is well knowing himself and being self-controlled will easily pull out even if vital circumstances temporarily drive him into a corner. The person of no character and not knowing harmony can stay at the bottom of a black emotional hole very long, expecting when the dark cloud resolves itself and the stream of lucky coincidence will take out him upward without efforts, spontaneously. In youth the depression can sometimes be endured stronger, more sharply, more painfully, than at advanced age, however, in general, it passes much quicker — energy of youth prevails.
To win itself against tendency to periodically arising depressions or to be protected at least from them, it is useful to study that the depression at all levels represents. And it, in turn, is possible in the only case — when you mentally separate with the negative experience and begin to investigate internal sight a dark cloud of a depression from outside. If you are attentive, then can see that in psychological sense the depression is a blackout, pain, weakening of will. At deeper, power level the depression is loss of vital force, deformation of a thin cover, narrowing of aura. And on the most deep, spiritual plan of life the depression appears as a gap or weakening of communication of the person with the Highest, with Space Life, with Whole. Of course, it is practically difficult to share the melancholy into three levels — it is usually perceived both as pain, and as blackout, and as deformation of aura, and as power loss, and as loss of feeling of God in heart.
The practical victory over a depression, especially if a depression is deep, very difficult business which not each person is independently capable to make. It is confirmed by the following history.
Aleksandra is 41 years old, she works as the senior librarian. Three months ago it with two children was left by the husband. He made it absolutely unexpectedly, even without explaining the reasons: just once packed things, left a note where reported that met other woman, accused the wife and all their relations of falseness and told that leaves to live to the new darling. A month ago called and told that files for divorce and the partition of the apartment. Then disappeared again.
Aleksandra stays in deep melancholy from the incident. It with huge work goes to work, she wants to do nothing, she is completely unsettled. Most of all it weighs uncertainty of the future, she just does not know what to do to it and what to expect. She admitted that when he called concerning the partition of the apartment, even in some sense it became easier for it, but when it again without explanations disappeared again, there came the feeling of hopeless grief. She cannot live without explanation that occurred in what her fault whom he chose instead of it and why what to tell to children. But it did not even award it with the minimum explanations. The world grew dim in her eyes. She speaks by a slow voice, complains of feeling of a heavy stone to breasts. The girlfriend whose mother I had earlier persuaded to come to me it.
The diagnosis which needs to deliver to Aleksandra is written at her on a face — the severe psychological injury passing into a long depression. The state quite explainable — according to the American psychologists, a gap with the loved one among other injuring events of human life is on the third place. We begin to work, but that I undertake — business does not go. At Aleksandra the aura is punched and the feeling of integrity of is lost. It is expressed in will paralysis: she cannot want release from sincere captivity in any way. She even admitted to me literally the same words: “I want to want to live anew, but just I cannot”.
Remembering the ancient recipe of the East: in poison antidote is concluded. I begin to look for a catch — where in Alexander remained though the slightest spark of will to live? During conversations it becomes clear — Aleksandra once in student’s youth arrived in some sense similarly: it left literally from under a wreath, without having been on a wedding where several tens people together with the groom waited for it. It did not begin to meet it and further, without explaining anything to him though he literally begged her and was ready to forgive this ugly trick. As she admitted to me — then she did not feel any remorse for deeds. She explained herself the refusal with the fact that she actually did not love the groom, but he imposed her the union with it. The groom worried so that he was nearly ready to take the own life, but Aleksandra was unshakable and refused to meet him.
“Whether you understand that between these two events there is direct link?” — I when I managed asked it, literally unwinding a thread of her memoirs, to pull out from it this history. She shuddered as stung, and I saw that it up to this point even in the course of the story where the analogy was looked through very obviously, did not coordinate in any way that her cruelty of that time on unknown channels of destiny returned to it today’s trouble where cruelly with it other person managed already.
Only when we began to work with it over repentance and accommodation of pain of other person, applying those methods to which I was taught in the Indian ashram (to Christian practice at Aleksandra the soul did not lie), it began to come to life — it had a free energy. I suggested it to ask mentally forgiveness for her former groom as if before God’s Face in the beginning and to make it extremely deeply, and then already to try to forgive the husband. With the second part at it it turned out much more difficultly — she could not forgive it an absolute indifference in any way to the daughters to whom he never called. We held with it several sessions during which she had to remember and confess mentally before the husband for all small and large sins made by it in 25 years of joint life. Only after these sessions when it gradually seized a repentance technique so that could work on itself independently, the heavy lump of a depression in a breast began to thaw. Besides, special sessions on removal of muscular clips helped with a body and restoration of a healthy power exchange in all being.
Recently she told me that her ex-husband called it and asked from it for permission to visit daughters. “I miss them” — he told by not really joyful voice which of intonation it was clear that to it on the new place it is not so sweet. She allowed it to come home, and now he began to be at her quite often.
I personally am not sure that it will return finally. Aleksandra too. However the incident strongly changed her view of the world, of itself and of the husband and helped it to cope with a depression.
The depression has the power over the person until he internally absolutizes its force, perceives its invasion into soul as something steady and is constant. It is useful to understand the wave nature of a depression: she never is absolutely stiffened and motionless. Having peered at the movements of soul, it is always possible to see certain thin fluctuations of a tone and mood. Really, the mood rises, falls though it can be processes, imperceptible for strangers. It is important to remember that the circumstances which generated a depression, as a rule, are casual, changeable and after a while will leave or will be replaced opposite. And though the human mood can not always follow automatically external events, nevertheless, understanding of the great wave principle of life already helps to apprehend a depression more quietly. The main thing — not to be identified with a dark and gloomy state. You have to resist its introduction in the inner world where it can easily expand. Watching a depression in an emphasis, mentally tell yourself: “This feeling is not I”, it is illusory because came, and will leave if I do not give in to it. The similar position or installation accelerates dissolution of a depression if it nevertheless took place.
YOU WATCH THE MOOD
Try to see the deep reason of developing of a depression. Ask yourself a question: and whether in general this reason of that you fell into despair deserves? Even when the reason seems serious and “valid”, remember that everything depends on your view of things. It you treat it too with respect and, thus, help similar unpleasant feeling to receive a registration in soul. Mentally separating from the depressive beginning in itself, you cease to feed it with own energy, and it gradually begins to weaken. In case you are inclined to give in to a depression and to be identified with it, you, on the contrary, strengthen it. You can observe that especially intensively process of similar feed which it is possible to call excessive self-criticism happens when business joins your mind by means of reasonings and images justifying or strengthening a depression. Be removed from a dark depressive cloud in your mental sky as it is possible further. Look for internal space of freedom and pleasure in the consciousness and move there that the depression did not concern you. Look and whether there is in you an internal sun. Look at it, smile to it and try to fill all your mental screen with light, and heart — pleasure or quiet confidence.
Be vigilant in relation to differences of own mood. Try to notice any dark cloud — negative emotion or reminiscence, or the notion of compulsion which can approach you from far away. Do not admit it to yourself on a gun shot. Look at it with an internal look, let’s it leave your mental space, you carry out its smooth leaving for the horizon. If depressive thoughts and feelings became strong if they grew up and are ready to enter your mind — make strong-willed effort, mentally tell depressions: “do not touch me!”, “do not approach me”.
The special psychological method protecting from a depression, assuming use of all positive experiences of the past will be very useful. Mentally remember the brightest experiences which you ever had and which were painted in tone opposite to gloomy, gray paints of a depression. Aggregate them and try to endure them anew, having brought all positive memoirs and images to life. Present that you inhale in yourself solar vivifying energy of pleasure, and all negative passes. As a rule, depressions either completely pass in such cases, or significantly weaken the grasp. Be adjusted on overcoming of all vital difficulties with vigorous optimistic installation, remembering a formula from the Doctrine of Living Ethics: “Obstacles are blessed — we grow at them”.